Giant cucumber slicer anyone? And if your answer is, ‘Heck, yes!’ then you are in luck as Hendrick’s Gin has brought just such a device to Texas.

The eye-popping 38-foot long Cucumber Slicing Machine can achieve road speeds of up to 25 mph and slice up to 18 cucumbers per hour making it the largest and most utterly inefficient cucumber slicer known to man! (Or woman!)  It is slowly traveling cross-country with the sole purpose of offering the most beautifully garnished Hendrick’s Gin cocktails and will be roaming the streets of Austin from October 5-15, Houston October 18-21 and Dallas October 26-29.

The wondrously strange slicing device is traveling the U.S. with the sole purpose of “offering the most beautifully garnished Hendrick’s Gin cocktails ever to grace a glass,” explained Hendrick’s Gin Ambassador Mark Stoddard. (Hendrick’s Gin is itself infused with cucumber.)

Those impressive road speeds are thanks to a hybrid powertrain combining a large diesel motor and a well-dressed gentleman pedaling a large-wheeled bicycle.The device relies upon an elaborate system of pneumatic tubing, interlocking gears and rotating blades to slice the cucumbers per hour. “It’s not the most efficient way to garnish a cocktail,” explained Stoddard, “but we do believe it is the most spectacular.” For those who prefer to slice cucumbers unencumbered by a sputtering 4-tonne pedal-assisted vehicle, the ginmaker is also releasing the functional Hendrick’s Petite Garnisher.

Anyone with the good fortune to spy The Hendrick’s Grand Garnisher on the road is encouraged to photograph the vehicle immediately (lest no one believe them) and post it using #HendricksGrandGarnisher and by tagging @HendricksGin. If you can’t wait to see the Grand Garnisher in person, or are curious as to how such a contraption is constructed, then click the image on the left and take a look at the video. Warning: laughter and a desire to drink gin may ensue!