Amy Weinland Daughters dives into how handwritten letters bring people together and why the holidays make the perfect starting point.

In a season full of consumerism, travel, and group texts, letter writing has become increasingly rare. Unlike a quick Facebook message or a FaceTime call, a letter arrives with intention. That simple act, according to Amy Weinland Daughters, can change lives for both the sender and the receiver. Her book, “Dear Dana: That Time I Went Crazy and Wrote All 580 of My Facebook Friends a Handwritten Letter“, details her personal journey and invites readers to slow down and connect with people in their lives.

What inspired you to write handwritten letters to all 580 of your Facebook friends, and how long did the project ultimately take?

In 2015, I reconnected with my old summer camp friend, Dana, on Facebook. We hadn’t had any contact with one another in 30 years. While scrolling through her life, I discovered that the youngest of her five children, and only son, Parker, had cancer. When he relapsed, I was suddenly inspired with an idea – actually, it was more like being hit in the head by a lightning bolt – I would begin writing Dana and Parker supportive cards and notes. It felt like an absolute calling, even though I hadn’t had direct contact with Dana in 30 years, had never met Parker, and hadn’t sent anyone a letter in decades.

After sending notes for ten to twelve weeks, tragically, Parker passed away at only fifteen years old. Not knowing what else to do, I just continued to write Dana. Eventually, she began writing me back. This led to two full years of us communicating exclusively through the U.S. Mail.

Though we were literal strangers, the regular letters connected us in a way that made me look through most everything in my life through a different lens. If all of this life-changing stuff could happen with this one random camp girl could there be additional goodness layered in my Facebook friends list?

That’s when I began my quest to write all of my Facebook people. I bought stationery, a bunch of stamps and spent eighteen months writing every single beautiful, messed-up, wonderful human being on my friends’ list.

Was there a particular letter or response that genuinely stood out to you or shifted your understanding of connection?

There were so many significant interactions among the letters that I ultimately decided to write a book about it. If I had to pick just one, I would highlight another old summer camp friend who, according to what I could glean from her Facebook profile, was living the absolute dream. She was beautiful, her husband was attractive and successful, and they lived a glamorous lifestyle. They had it all! And of course, this made me wonder why my life didn’t live up to hers. But I wrote her, and she wrote back, telling me that she had been secretly hoping that a true friend would reach out to her. She had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and she was drowning. While it’s obvious that a Facebook profile cannot reflect the depth of a real human experience, my interaction with this friend made me look at all the others differently. As it turned out, their lives were as real as mine.

What do you think is the most significant emotional difference between sending someone a Facebook message and sending them a handwritten letter?

A handwritten letter, or note, requires a certain level of sacrifice that isn’t required when sending an electronic message. Taking the time to sit down and write a few sentences in your own handwriting, finding an envelope, the correct address, a postage stamp and then driving across town to find a blue postbox won’t be lost on the recipient. The result is a magical moment at a mailbox where a precious human being will feel, in the depths of their heart and soul, that they matter THIS much to another person.

Roughly how many of your letter recipients were from Texas, and did you approach your letters to Texans differently than those who lived out of state or abroad?

Nearly 70 percent of my letter recipients hailed from the great state of Texas. These letters seemed easier to get started because a connection between two Texans, despite whatever might separate them, is special because they “get it”.

Texans are known for their warmth and Southern charm. How have your Texas roots shaped the way you think about kindness, connection and staying in touch with people?

My Texas roots have everything to do with the Facebook letter project. Being raised by and amongst so many generous and kind people in Spring, Texas, was reflected in every single word I wrote. Beyond that, without being a Texan, and therefore living a life where everything is bigger and the possibilities are as endless as Interstate 10 between Orange and El Paso, would I have dreamed big enough to think I could write 580 handwritten letters?

The holidays can feel rushed and commercialized. Why do you think a handwritten letter can be more meaningful than buying a gift?

Over and over in my letter writing journey I was surprised at how much a simple handwritten gesture could mean. I believe there is something so deeply human in the transaction of one person taking the time to express themselves in a tactile, not-intrusive and personal way for no other reason than out of goodwill. The number one most common response I’ve received from all of my many cards, notes and letters is this, “I will save your letter in a special place for the rest of my life.”

For someone who wants to reconnect with loved ones this holiday season and throughout the year, what is a simple, approachable way to begin a letter-writing habit?

The holidays are actually the perfect time to send someone a letter or note, because this is really the only time of year when cards are still sent. It’s as simple as going out and buying a box of holiday notes and writing a brief, sincere message in each one.

Why should people revive a lost art like handwritten letters and build it into a regular part of their routine moving forward?

The plot twist in making handwritten letters and notes a part of a daily or weekly routine is the impact it has on the person doing the writing. While it’s generally accepted that writing someone a meaningful letter is about making them feel good, the person who is most changed is you. I know this because becoming a regular letter writer has transformed every single aspect of my life. My connections, my heart and life is so full of hope because when two human beings reach out to one another individually with nothing but goodwill on the line, nothing can separate them.

Pick Up a Pen and Write

This holiday season, make handwritten letters a tradition for years to come. Better yet, writing letters can become part of a New Year’s resolution. The power of this personal act can be the start of a meaningful connection or the deepening of established relationships. Amy’s inspiring journey is a reminder that just one letter can change more than one life.

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Cover Photo by Diana Polekhina on Unsplash

Sara Aguinaga is a dedicated massage therapist and editorial contributor at Texas Lifestyle Magazine. She loves indulging in spa treatments, exploring diverse cuisines and traveling. 

This post is a sponsored collaboration with PR by the Book.